


To love a legend...

by IsilmeLasgalen



Series: Kings of the seas [2]
Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Ivar is Ragnar's heir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25586707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsilmeLasgalen/pseuds/IsilmeLasgalen
Summary: Ragnar is just the beginning, the true era of Vikings will begin with his death.
Relationships: Aslaug/Ragnar Lothbrok, Athelstan & Lagertha (Vikings), Athelstan & Ragnar Lothbrok, Athelstan/Judith (Vikings), Heahmund/Lagertha (Vikings), Lagertha/Ragnar Lothbrok, Lagertha/Rollo (Vikings)
Series: Kings of the seas [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855273
Kudos: 7





	1. Lagertha

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Vikings.

Lagertha had chosen Ragnar over Rollo because he had a sense of security. He had been young and strong, intelligent and a dreamer. A farmer, that could provide food and warmth, safety. Rollo had been passionate, a burning desire. He had been brash and fearless and she had thought his love would never last. So when she found herself with child, she chose Ragnar.

Ragnar loved her son, _their_ son, loved their daughter. Life on the farm was quiet, calm. Her children were safe and healthy and she was happy.

Rollo still loved her years later, he loved their son.

Ragnar sailed west. He returned with a monk and no riches, no food. At least he had returned.

Athelstan was afraid but capable and kind. He had a pretty face and soft hands, a frail body and atrocious hair. She saw the spark in Ragnar's eyes and knew he was never going away, so she adapted and even liked the man.

Athelstan taught them of his land and his people so they sailed west again and she refused to be left behind. The west was not on Midgard, she was convinced of it, it was so _different._ Still west the land was fertile, Ragnar would never let it go...

Maybe the west was one day going to save their people but it _broke_ her family. 

Later she learned things as the wife of an Earl. She learned to lead, the mercy and weight of power. She learned to mourn the death of a child, of her only daughter, and the pain that left a hole in her heart. She learned that Ragnar was a man and like all man, desired something she could not give so he got it somewhere else. And when she left, Bjorn went with her.

***

Life after Ragnar was hard.

Sigvard was cruel and a coward. She could have gone back to Kattegat and Ragnar or Rollo would come for his head with all the vengeance and anger only a descendant of Odin could have. All she had though was her pride so she hid her shame and her weakness and held her head high. She was Lagertha, Lagertha was a survivor.

Then he mentioned Bijorn. Before she had been a wife or a shieldmaide, she had been a mother, carrying a son, and he would forever come first.

As Earl people bowed to her and not her husband but she still did his job for him, as she had before. Facing Ragnar as someone else's husband was far harder, seeing the sons she could not give him heartbreaking.

***

Sufferings in life never stopped, maybe gods thought it would make them stronger, who was she to question them?

She knew she was going to regret killing Aslaug the moment she did it but it was too easy to blame her for all her pain.

Aslaug had been young and in love, as Lagertha had once been. For good and for worse had raised four children mainly on her own. Helped Kattegat prosper and didn't turn anyone against Ragnar, not even their children. Maybe it wasn't fair she was shot in the back. Lagertha was not so wise to see beyond her own pain, that was for the saints from Athelstan stories.

Life as a Queen was not satisfying, it didn't bring her daughter back. It didn't bring Ragnar back, it didn't erase the past.

***

She didn't think Ivar could kill her until she saw him lead an army in a way only his father could. She bliked and saw Ragnar there, yelling at soldiers to not fear death. 

She lost her crown to a boy and in exchange she took away what he loved most. Heahmund was never going to look at her the way he looked at Ivar. She was not blind, it took her all but a second on the same battlefield as them to see it. Heahmund looked at Ivar the way she once looked at Ragnar. 

And Ivar was just like Ragnar, beautiful and charming, intelligent and a dreamer. Truly his father's son, who defeated his brothers when they went for his crown and didn't kill them. Who caught her and had every right to take her head but let her go. Ivar did not kill her. Not because he was too weak, but because he was strong enough not to. To love the brother that had helped raise him, in spite of all that followed, enough to not wish the pain he had felt himself on Bijorn.

And maybe Ragnar's true heir wasn't her son but he was going to accomplish things even the love of her life had never dreamed of.

***

Lagertha spent the last years of her life on a farm.

Life on the farm was quiet and calm, she could close her eyes and listen to the birds and the wind and the sea. 

She grew old there, on her quiet little farm, her face wrinkled and her bones weakened. Her wounds, old and once ignored started bothering her, her joints hurt. And the pain got worse until she couldn't work the land or get up from bed. Breathing was fire not air in her lungs and she thought maybe Ivar had his revenge after all. Her name forbidden on the tongues of the people who once called her Queen, she would not be known for centuries, they would not sing songs and tell stories of the great shildmaiden Lagertha.

She closes her eyes and tightens her grip on the sword she had once left behind as she gives her life to the hands of a son of Ragnar, as her son stops her pain. She will meet her Ragnar in Valhalla, and oh, the stories she will tell...

***


	2. Athelstan

Athelstan never knew life outside his faith. He had been given to the monks as a child too young to remember and his faith and devotion to God defined him. Then the demons came.

They were tall and strong, with dark armor and long hair. They were loud and cruel and disrespectful. They killed his brothers and pissed and spit on the holy relics of his home. They were as beautiful as they were evil and he was sure satan himself had made them from ashes in hell.

The sea was cold and unforgiving and he almost wished it had claimed him before he was left at the mercy of creatures that didn't know the word. The one who led the attack but was not the leader bought him home.

The demon's children were young and innocent, they didn't look like the spawn of the devil. The wife was strong in built, Athelstan hadn't interacted with many females in his life as a monk, but he knew she would be considered more beautiful than most. The demons had no shame no fear of God or sin.

And yet, time passed and they became human, they loved their children and respected each other. They had a language and a faith and laws. And he was swept off of the ground before he knew it, floating between their beliefs and his own. The faith he grew with and the one who set him free from his earthly chains.

He learned to care for Gyda and Bjorn as his own, to admire Lagertha's strength, a woman who fought with men and was their equal in every way. He learned to love Ragnar.

Ragnar the man, not the demon. The man who wanted to help his people, who wanted more. More land to grow better food. The gentle thoughtful father, the devoted kind husband. The forgiving brother, the great leader he became. The dreamer who left for an unknown land with nothing but a stone and a piece of wood because he wanted a better future for his children. Ragnar who loved battle but yearned for peace and calm, Ragnar who he could no longer leave behind. Maybe he had no idea which gods were real, but he knew there was one thing he could believe in that would always be real, Ragnar.

***

Even Ragnar has faults and as Lagertha leaves and Aslaug came Athelstan stayed by Ragnar. The god of his birth was further away with each day passed and life as a heathen got closer to his heart.

He loved the women and the drinks and the parties and the battle. He loved the blood boiling in his veins as life drained on his sword and the monk had been long left behind.

The christians caught him and crucified him and maybe they were right to do so, he truly believed those would be the last moments of his life. The agony of such a painful death, excruciating in its cruelty. A savage death for a savage.

***

He lived and he didn't know which god it was that saved him. He was prisoner once more, a heathen in christian lands that both feel and not feel like home. Every thought and doubt he tried so hard to bury deep down and forget came with a vengeance that threatened to break and ruin him.

He didn't know who he was or if he ever did and thought twice and before every action he took. One day he prayed to one god and the next to another and the next to none and the next to all. He picked up a book and a brush and sayd Odin's name before sleep instead of Christ's. He prayed for Heaven and reached for Valhalla, had no idea who his enemies or his friends were. 

Ragnar and Ecbert were so alike and worlds apart. He chose Ragnar, because Ragnar had been his true faith for so long already.

***

Ragnar didn't mock him, he defended him, learned from him because maybe he truly was descended from gods, Athelstan had a hard time believing him human.

Returning back to Wessex and seeing Ecbert was bittersweet, working by Lagerthas side on the land was a glimpse of an old life long gone. They were different people, maybe a little bit older and wiser or so he wanted to believe.

Judith was a beautiful woman and while Lagertha and Ecbert seemed to gravitate around each other Athelstan found himself drawn to her. He could not help it, monks might resist such desires but he was no monk. Not anymore.

***

Leaving Judith was hard but not impossible and he had long learned he would always choose Ragnar. Even when the sign came and he renounced Odin for Christ, his true faith was still Ragnar. Would always be, he only wished their gods would let them meet again once they are both free of their earthly bodies.

His last wish is for Ragnar, his last breath is for Ragnar and his soul is also for him, there has never been a religion he had been more devoted to.

***


	3. Aslaug

Aslaug had known many man, none had been better than the one before. Ragnar looked beyond her face and her body, respected her for her mind and at the time that made all the difference.

She hadn't cared that he was married to another, he would leave and she would find her own happiness one day. She had already seen herself surrounded by children, four beautiful boys that were her future but she wanted her first lover to be someone who wanted more from her than a baby making warm body. She had thought Ragnar was that.

When she fell pregnant and went to him, didn't want to do it all alone and it couldn't have been anyone else's, he had been the only one.

His wife left, Aslaug would have shared but she understood how Lagertha could not. She knew no one would love her the way they loved Lagertha, she was a witch, an intruder, but it was her destiny, she had seen... she would not fight it.

***

The first few years of her marriage were every little girls dream. He was understanding and loving and his children adored him. Kattegat was rich and had good trade and she wished for nothing. But going west again changed her husband. He came back impatient and rough and he didn't listen to her. It was the first of the many downs of her marriage and the end of her happiness.

Ivar was born, against all odds, despite the hard winter and hardships of the months that followed, and his legs were unlike anything she had ever seen. But he was her son, her beautiful son and no one would hurt him, she would not allow it. Not even Ragnar, not after he didn't heed her warning, he had no right to.

Her husband became king, made her a queen and their marriage got worse and worse.

Ivar was always in pain and she couldn't stop it, she couldn't make her son better. No medicine and no prayers worked. She stayed with him day and night and couldn't remember the last time she ate or slept, people still said she should have left him to die. She had seen it, she had _seen_ it and she knew her son would be great one day, greater than his father ecen, if only she could keep him alive that long. She would fight the gods if she had to.

***

Aslaug never meant to fail so badly, as a little girl she had dreamed of having children and had thought she would be a good mother. As an adult had proved to be a horrible one and had to admit had probably failed each one of her son's.

With Ragnar distant and Ivar in so much pain she had snapped, Harbard had been an escape she got lost in. He had been there, noticed her and touched her and he made Ivar sleep. _She_ hadn't slept in what felt like years so she just, stopped caring, stopped caring for years.

It almost killed her Ubbe and Hvitserk, it did kill Siggy and then little Siggy, it made Sigurd hate her and to her husband she was a complete disappointed. Even Ivar she had failed, raised by a cold and cruel woman he became a cold and cruel child.

By the time she woke up her husband was truly lost and gone, sick and living somewhere in the mountains and she was left to care for the children she failed and a country that hated her.

***

Bjorn was perhaps her greatest help, he taught his brothers what their father should have, defended her when the people wanted to turn on her and helped when leading a country felt overwhelming. She knew he stayed for his siblings not her but was greatful nonetheless.

Her children grew older and beautiful and strong and each year she tried to fix her mistakes a little bit more. Bjorn managed to teach Ivar some morals and kindness, she got hope she didn't completely ruin him. Ubbe was oldest and felt like he had the weight of the world on him but he was the kindest, most like his father in that regard, it was why people loved him. Hvitserk was reckless, a berserker in all but name and it worried her, but not as much as Sigurd.

Sigurd hated her, hated his siblings one more then the one before, and he hated the world. He didn't go a day without antagonising someone and most of all never overlooked an opportunity to fight with Ivar. Her greatest fear those days had been that her children were going to kill each other.

Ragnar returned and she didn't understand why then. After he lied and left them all even his children looked down on him, in spite of all she told them. He sailed west again, with the old and the sick and the drunk he paid with what little he had left and took her Ivar with him just as Bjorn had taken her Hvitserk. Her Ivar that walked, for the first time in his life, and would drown in the sea. Why did they never listen to her? 

***

Aslaug dies alone, no husband and no child at her side. Shot in the back by the woman whose husband she stole and she can't blame her. She had always known her destiny, Ragnar had been just the means to fulfill it, he didn't need to love for it. Her sons will be known for centuries, not even Lagertha could take that away.

***


	4. Ragnar

Ragnar knew he would die in England, he also knew he would be avenged. The english would pay in blood for the blood they had spilt, they would suffer like his people had suffered. They had spit on his dream like it was worth nothing while children of northmen starved.

Ecbert had smiled at him and stabbed him in the back and Aelle had looked at them all like they were beasts. He had fought with Wessex, _for_ them. For Mercia. They knew what he was capable of, saw it first hand. And yet Ecbert took him for a fool, so much for being equals.

Did the old king really think that Ragnar would forgive and forget? That he would buy that lie about having another son and be so happy about it he would go back home? He had never laid with that woman, unless she was as holy as their famous virgin Mary, he was pretty sure another random northman was the father. Or maybe Torstein, that was more like it.

He might have been a fool, he made his mistakes and maybe he couldn't count the number of women he slept with on the fingers of his hands and have some left to spare but Kwenthrith had not been one of them. She had pissed on his wound a few times and as far as he knew that didn't produce children. He felt bad for the boy but from a cage he could do nothing to help him.

Had the child been his he would have made arrangements but it was just not humanly possible. He might not have been a perfect father but he had tried. He had loved Gyda, his only daughter more than he had ever loved anyone. She had been perfect and innocent and so beautiful. She took a part of his soul with her to the Afterlife and it still ached. And Bjorn, oh Bjorn his eldest son, had children of his own. A grown man who had helped lead Kattegat for years. Ragnar had watched, he hadn't gone that far away. He knew Ubbe had his calm and Hvitserk loved the cry of battle and Sigurd... he knew Sigurd had his problems but he was also a good man. Ivar though, Ivar was truly his son, Ragnar knew he would be great one day.

Ivar had that spark, that dream, that strength his siblings lacked. Ragnar had known none of his older children would go with him, he couldn't blame them. But Ivar felt he had something to prove, Ivar wanted Ragnar to love him, he had known his youngest would come. Part of him wished his son already knew how much he loved him but part of him was happy it would work to his advantage. He would make sure Ivar got the confidence he deserved, he would watch from Valhalla as his son achieved what he himself never could.

He couldn't have Ivar walk on the mission so he took his braces away, he knew though that Ivar would stand on his own feet one day oh, how the english would fear him. Ecbert would underestimate Ivar because he himself did, when the boy wat just a newborn he had left out to die. It hadn't been that he didn't love Ivar, he just hadn't seen how the boy could survive on his own. Him and Aslaug could not live forever and what would their son do then? Yet he had seen Ivar walk on his own, didn't need anyone to depend on, he had needed someone to love him. He was already strong, Ragnar would give him a reason to fight and may their god save the saxons from the wrath of his sons, that would be proof if he was real or not.

It was time for him to meet his Athelstan again, one day Lagertha and Aslaug would join them and maybe he would do better by them in death than he had done in life. Of all the things he did, Ragnar thinks dying is the one he regrets least.

"How the little piggies will grunt when they hear how the old boar suffered."


End file.
